Monday, November 23, 2015

#11: Personal Narrative

Lindsey Tanner
Writing 150
Like Father, Like Daughter
How can I be wrong again? Glancing at the clock I see the bright red numbers reading 6:00. An hour in and I haven’t finished a single problem. At least dad is home, he’ll know what to do. I grab my worksheet and rush into his office. I walk into the dim room, and see the only light in the room being emitted from the computer screens. Dad, sitting at his comfortable black chair hunches over the keyboard which seems to barely fit under his hands. He peers at the monitors as a rhythmic ticking comes from his fingers crawling across the keys. The jumble of letters, numbers, and symbols he had conjured up on the screen intrigues me, so I stand behind him. I brush my hand on his rough blue collared shirt. “What’s that?”
            “Oh, nothing,” he says heavily, almost sighing. His hand slowly reaches up to his eyes, which he rubs, “just a little programming for work.” My head slowly bobs up and down. I understand as much of the mashed up letters and numbers as I do my worksheet. Dad’s eyes descend with his hand and stop, resting on the slightly crumpled paper I am holding. I take a deep breath before asking him for help. Without warning, he springs from his chair which flies across the floor toward the wall. The worksheet is gone from my hand before I knew he had ever reached out to grab it. I stand in silence as his bright blue eyes move across the algebra problems that lie amongst pencil marks, eraser smudges, and torn edges. The corners of his mouth slowly turn up into a smile, and a mischievous spark rests in his eyes. “Do you have any scratch paper?”
            “No, but there is enough space on the worksheet.”
            “Go get a new piece,” he demands. I don’t move. I don’t want to get another piece. I don’t even need it. I can tell by the cool gaze he gives me that he is serious, so I take fresh sheet out of the printer, flip the light on, and join my dad at the crayon covered counter. I stare at the first problem: Jennifer slept for nine hours, how many seconds did she sleep? Slowly, I carve “9 hours” onto my no longer white worksheet.
            “Now, what unit of time is smaller than an hour?” I hear his patient voice say, tinted with excitement.
            “Um, a minute?” I say, almost more of a question than an answer. He nods, and asks me how to turn an hour into minutes. My brows furrow and I tap my pencil on the hard table. You can’t turn hours into minutes. Maybe asking dad was a bad idea. “I don’t know,” I reply. I see a fire ignite in my dad’s eyes. Voice brimming with excitement, he beams, almost shouting.
            “You multiply by one!”
            Bewildered, I can feel my eyes grow so big I’m sure they’ll fall out of my head. Asking dad was a mistake, he has no idea what he’s talking about. Multiply by one? “You can’t do that dad,” I say, a little harsher than intended. “If you multiply anything by one, it will be the exact same number as it was before: nine hours.” I point my finger to the space on the page I had written the number. I hear his voice repeat the instruction. My hand begins to quiver as I feel the confusion overwhelm me. Dad lets out a small chuckle and I am certain he is doubting my intelligence. The apparent amusement he is gaining from my obvious struggle stings, and I can feel my face become hot.
            “How many minutes are in an hour,” he asked slowly, a hint of hope in his voice.
            “Sixty,” I say, trying to keep my voice from shaking.
            “So, sixty minutes and one hour are the same thing, right?” he says. I nod as he continues, “So if you put sixty minutes over one hour, then that’s the same thing as one.”
            “It is not the same thing as one. Sixty is way bigger,” I say, trying to shoot daggers at him with my eyes. This made more sense when I was doing it on my own.
            “Just use the scratch paper. If you write out every step, it will make more sense.” I stare in disgust at the piece of paper he pushes toward me. The tension in his voice is tangible and I feel chills run up my spine. “If you aren’t willing to take my advice, then I’m not going to help you,” he states roughly.
            I hear Natalie, my ten year old sister enter the room. Great. She stands silently at the door watching us for a few moments before I whip around. The command for her to leave slips sharply out of my mouth before I have time to think. She’s just here to make fun of me.
            Suddenly, my body takes over. My hands start shaking and I try to push back the tears brimming in my eyes. How am I supposed to have this done by tomorrow? Against my will, the problems on the worksheet become blurry, and I can feel the hot tears cascading down my cheeks. This father daughter math session has ended just like all the others. I doubt next week’s will be any better.
            The front door slams as sixteen year old Natalie bursts through, letting the chilly fall air run into the house. She’s just barely returned and I can already feel the frustration she has bottled up inside of her. She immediately pulls a large blue geometry book out of her tattered school bag. Loose papers come with the book and flutter chaotically toward the hardwood floor. My dad glances up from the sink as he continues to scrub the grime off of a plate.
            “Geometry homework again?” he questions.
            “I hate it. It doesn’t make any sense and my teacher doesn’t explain anything in class. He expects us to learn everything on our own!” Natalie snaps.
            “Would you like some help?”
            She returns his question with a cool stare. She stands tall and prideful, unwilling to admit that she can’t do the homework on her own. Her blue eyes glare at him through her large black framed glasses. I continue watching the scene from the couch. I remember when my dad would always help me with my math homework, but it had been years since.
            Suddenly he spots me. “I don’t have much time tonight, but Lindsey is really good at math. She can help you.”
            “Fine.” Natalie retorts defiantly. She slams her book down on the table, finds her worksheet, and fumbles for a pencil. I rush over and sit by her side, my eyes move across the geometry problems that lie amongst pencil marks, eraser smudges, and torn edges. She had been working on this earlier.
            “Alright,” I say with a slight smile, “Do you have a piece of scratch paper?”

            My dad looks up at us from the kitchen sink with a smile.

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